What the?

1) Found one Loubie. One. Not to make light of certain situations, but am considering chopping off a foot so I can still make use of the one shoe I do have.
2) Managed to burn Tuna Helper.
3) Some random guy tried to pass me on the road. I could see him in my rear view mirror being all aggressive with the traffic behind me. As he approached my car I could see a Yankee Candle air freshener hanging from his rear view mirror. Not a chance am I letting a sissy like that pass me. Seeing as how I have no working cd player (actually, the entire stereo is shot at this point) I was only able to play the song "You're a jerk" in my head. But he was. I mean for real, at least take the Yankee Candle air freshener down if you're going to drive like a total douche. (Sorry)
4) Went to my washing machine to take the clothes from the washer and put them into the dryer. There were no clothes in the washer. Or the dryer. Either I just forgot to do a load of laundry or I am so organized that I forgot washing and drying an entire load of laundry. Whatever.
5) Have no clean spoons in the silverware drawer. Except for the gelato spoons I bought at Jeni's ice cream. That counts. Right? *Does it count against me that I bought the spoons during a time when I was trying not to shop, which really meant not buying clothes and I was so desperate to buy SOMETHING that I bought several pints of ice cream and a set of spoons?