Full metal... purse?

So. You know how sometimes life is a little hectic and MAYBE your purse has turned into an area that is quite possibly bad news.
As in:
Hell if I know what's in there. I've just been tossing stuff in there for weeks and not bothered to look around. I know there are no children (of mine) in there, because I have seen both of mine in the last 24 hours and I have to admit that while I do know there was food in there I did remove it the other day. (String cheese. Sorry)
So. You know, the wouldn't sell you such a big handbag if they didn't want you to UTILIZE all of that space. Right? And I'm SORRY if maybe I don't keep my bag very organized.
Well. I got to the courthouse last night (I'd say it was a long story, but it's not and not worth going over) and forgot that you have to go through a metal detector, as does your purse. WTF.
In the list of things I was mentally prepared for THAT was not one of them. You know how sometimes you have your own secret areas of shame? My bag is one of mine. (As is my car. But anyone who knows me knows that.)
This is no joke, but I was at a party once and won a door prize for having the most random contents in my bag. If you need it, there is a good chance I have it.
So. Back to the issue at hand(bag). My bag. It goes through the metal detector and gets stopped and they show the contents to me on the screen and ask me what's in there? Hell if I know. What ISN'T in there? They asked me if I had mace. No. They asked me what it was. Possibly a hair product? I wasn't being a smart alec, just honest. Really. You people think I know what is in that bag? All I know is it must have looked REALLY bad on the screen because they sure weren't about to stick their hands in there and start rooting around.
After all that, of course I HAD to know what the freak they saw on the screen that caused such concern, yet not enough to reach in and check.
1) $14 in LOOSE CHANGE! I'm rich!
2) A drawer pull from a cabinet I bought at World Market. Awesome store, hated the hardware.
3) Spare parts for my eyelash curler. Shu Uemura rocks. For those of you who are lovely you know what I mean.
4) A spoon. Mine? Brian's? Guess I need to figure that out.
5) Jewelry. But not the good stuff. No. My two Wendy Brandes necklaces are safe and sound.
6) Lot's of random other stuff.
Anyway. I'm offically changing bags. To something smaller. Geesh.